Upcoming Events

Cristina will be doing a New Vrindavan workshop from April1-3 and another one in Chicago from May 6-7

Conversations with Lubhit

Parenting with Love

Do not bother teaching children that they should do what you did not — they will fall through the crack of what is as it is and illusion.

Do not bother teaching children to do exctly as you do — they will be confused and angered by your demand that they take their unique experience and mold it into a template that is already past.

Instead, allow your children to see that life is fluid, that you and they are a part of the stream. That when we are vulnerable, compassion is the most powerful response. Teach them that love is spacious — strong enough to hold mistakes and that mistakes are momentary. We have the option not to hold them in place. Mistakes become positive movements if we treat them with respect and kindness, wllowing the stream to continue to flow.

— Suzi Tucker

What does this story mean to you? Write to me.

How does a spider make its web? The most difficult part seems to be the first thread. Does the spider fly? Does she throw a line to the other side? Does she walk down and up at the other side carrying a thread that she attaches between the two sides?

No, none of these ideas are true. The solution is simple. The spider releases a sticky thread that is blown away with the wind. If the breeze carried the silken line to a spot where it sticks the first bridge is formed. The spider cautiously crosses along the thin line reinforcing it with a second line. She enforces the line until it is strong enough.

The Little Spider

There was once a little spider, and she went out into the forest seeking a place to spin her web.

Soon she came to an arch in the trees, not too open, not too secluded, and she decided this was just the place to spin her web.

So she waited there patiently for the wind to blow her first thread across the arch. From this thread she would make a frame for the web.

The wind came, the first thread was blown across the arch, and the frame for the web was made.

Then the little spider spun each radius, moving in and out from the frame to the centre of the web and back again.

Finally, when these were finished, she began the laborious task of joining them all together with a fine spiral thread.

Now the little spider didn’t know that the arch in the trees where she had chosen to spin her web was a path through the forest used by some boys to go fishing. She had only just finished the web when the boys came through, and the tips of their fishing rods snapped all the threads of the web, and left it in ruins.

Ah, well! said the little spider. These things happen. And she started all over again.

By the time she had finished again dusk had begun to fall and, feeling very tired, the little spider stood back to admire her work: for the web she had made this time was even better than before.

Meanwhile the boys, having finished their fishing, were on their way back home to supper. Their rods burst through the web, this time in the other direction, leaving it in ruins again.

The little spider’s rage and despair can be imagined, because it was too late for her to start spinning another web that day, and anyway she was too tired and hungry.

The next morning, with the sunrise, she felt better. She was full of plans for her new web, and she set about spinning it as soon as there was enough light for her to see. Perhaps it was because she had had nothing to eat the day before, but today her thread seemed to have a purer texture, and this gave her courage, thinking how wonderful the new web would be when it was finished.

Meanwhile the boys were having an early breakfast in preparation for the new day’s fishing. The little spider had not quite finished her web when they came by and broke it. She was nearly killed, and this time she was too frightened to be disappointed, and much too upset to start spinning another one. She spent the rest of the day, and all that night, shivering, wondering what was going to happen to her.

When the next day dawned, the little spider felt even worse. For she knew now that these terrible punishments were coming to her because of some dreadful fault in her character. She spent the day in misery, vowing to be a better spider in the future, and wondering whether she would have the strength to change her ways. 2

On the day after this, though the little spider did not to know it, the boys went back to school. She arose with the dawn, as usual, but she was now very thin and weak.

They broke my web because it was not good enough, she said. This time I will make a better one. And she worked and she worked and she worked. And as she worked, she grew so tired that she no longer found any pleasure in what she was doing. I must get it done, she said to herself, but she was really past caring.

And all this time the thread that spun out of her was the finest and the most elegant you have ever seen. It shone like the purest silver in the sun, twinkling through the forest as far as the eye could see.

Exhausted at last, the little spider crawled back under her leaf in the tree, not even looking at the web she had spun, glad only that her task was done.

It so happened that on this day her spider friend from the next tree came to visit her.

As soon as the spider friend set eyes on the new web she said,

My, my! My, my! What an absolutely beautiful web! I always said you had talent, my dear, and this proves it. Aren’t I just green with envy! How wonderful it must be to have a talent like yours. How happy it must make you, and what riches it must bring you. My, my! I’d give my life to be able to spin a web like that!

But the little spider wasn’t listening. She was dead.

 

Raising Bicultural Children

It is very challenging to raise bicultural children who are a part of two (or more) cultures. This notion of being between cultures is difficult to think, talk, or write about. However, the research shows that children who are able to identify with their bicultural identity—their culture (being Indian) and the culture of mainstream society (being American) experience less confusion, isolation, and alienation in school and in life. They are more self-confident and perform better in schools than children who reject one of their cultures. Children who can learn the American culture without losing their Indian heritage have a much better understanding of the world that they live in.

In many Asian families, parents tend to stick to preserving Eastern cultural values. With this in mind, many times, they fail to acknowledge the messages their children may be receiving about the Western culture from school. This often leads to a generational and cultural gap among Asian parents and their children. Many Asian American children feel that their parents expectations are outdated and/or unrealistic. When their children do not listen, Asian American parents feel as though they are too Westernized and that they do not know how to show respect to their elders. Often times, it is merely miscommunication on both ends. It is important to have conversations around what it means to be Eastern and/or Western. When these conversations do not occur in the house, children are often left to make up their own minds about what this means to them and their parents. Children need to have a space to talk about how they are making sense of their bicultural identity and the different messages they are receiving in their lives.

Asian parents tend to place an emphasis family, collectivity, and gender roles. Asian parents often emphasize making decisions for the larger good of the family. However, the Western culture places an emphasis on the individual and being independent. In this way, the values of collectivity vs. individuality are in direct contrast with one another. In schools, children are often told to make decisions based on self-interest. Many Asian American children discuss the intense pressure they feel to choose a career in the STEM Fields (Science, Technology, Engineering and/or Math) or Business regardless of their self-interest or aptitude for that profession.  Furthermore, Indian women are often closely monitored and receive less freedom than men because their roles are tied to the honor or izaat of the family. Women are viewed as central to preserving the cultural traditions of their family. Yet, in schools, they are told that they are equal to men and should not be treated differently.

Unfortunately, these cultural conflicts have led to higher rates of suicide for Asian Americans. Asian Americans are much more likely to commit suicide than the average American. In the end, because conversations about what it means to be Indian and to be American have not occurred in many households—many Indian American children feel like they cannot please their parents or themselves. As a result, they feel alienated and withdrawn from both their cultures, their families, and their peers.

It is important to acknowledge that many children don’t have a clear understanding of what it means to be “Indian” and “American” because there is no fixed definition of this and each family will have their own views and/or thoughts about this. Through conversations, children can begin to understand how they can be part of both cultures. Some parts of their culture are observable, such as dress, language, food, fashion, and the media (e.g., hollywood/bollywood). However, other parts are more abstract, such as the values that stem from each culture.

There will be circumstances or situations in which they will place a value on the greater good of their family and other situations in which they may choose to do something because of their self-interest. It doesn’t mean they are less “Indian” or less “American” because of their choices. It only means that they have figured out what it means to be an Indian-American by negotiating between the hyphen and as a result, they are able to make more thoughtful decisions.

Helping our children develop an understanding of their bicultural identity will help them make better choices in their lives. By developing a bicultural identity, children are able to pick and choose from both cultures that are apart of their lives.  They learn to negotiate values that significantly vary and contrast with one another. This provides them with a very unique vantage point.  Children must constantly negotiate and re-negotiate what it means to live in-between two different worlds. Through this process, children will learn how to make decisions more confidently and with a better understanding of who they are and who they want to be.

Releasing Stress

Here are some energy healing video series that you can put these practices to use in your life NOW.

http://energyhealing.thesacredscience.com/video-1.html

Hidden Heart

Sharing

Sharing

She followed him because she loved the treasure. She heard him speak of what he found, and a passage in her own heart opened up. They had found the same treasure in different caves, and they would share it with whomever they met in that sacred place below the surface of life.

She was Clare and he was Francis, and together they would show the world its hidden heart.

~ Murray Bodo, from “Clare: A Light in the Garden”

A baby’s wish

 

A babys wish

A babys wish

You’re wishin’ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.

Elizabeth Gilbert

It is simple….follow the truth of what you know

It is so easy for everyone to just simply rest as consciousness in
that same true way of being. All it requires is untainted surrender
to what you honestly know is true, and all it will cost is your
personal wants and needs. All it will cost is just your personal
dream… your illusion. Then, as you continue to let in Truth to
the point where it has replaced everything in you that is untrue,
then you come into true form. You come to know your real self,
and you come to realize and live the reality you were in when you
were very, very young. You begin to grow as a real human being,
a beloved servant of Truth, instead of as a human “wannabe,” a
slave of your own illusion.

~ John de Ruiter

Truth

 

Truth

Truth

Truth comes silently, without your knowing. What you know is not truth, it is only an idea, a symbol. The shadow is not the real.